The Long and Winding Road - My Journey to Jesus Part II

Back on January 28th of this year, I began to tell you of my relationship with Jesus and how it came to be.  You can read about that at yiandmeitogether.blogspot.com/2012/01/how-was-china.html.  Then recently I added, prompted by the Holy Spirit, a second part to it which can be found at http://yiandmeitogether.blogspot.com/2012/03/long-and-winding-road-my-journey-to.html. 

Now here I am again, doing my best to paint an accurate picture for you, the reader, of my life with and without Jesus in it.  Hopefully, prayerfully, by the time you conclude this entry you will either a. Recognize you gave your life to Jesus a long time ago but never knew how to keep a relationship going with Him.  In this case, you will have lost your witness, but not your salvation, but now you want to recommit to Him by studying His Word and living it out; b. You go to church on Sundays, read your bible sometimes and believe that makes you a Christian and are now realizing there is much more to it than that and that you must be born again in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven; or c. You have always thought of the Jesus story as one big scam and anyone claiming to believe in Him to be delusional but now you are willing to admit to yourself that there really is something to all of this and maybe even go as far as to seek His Face this very moment and ask Him to be Lord and Savior over your life.


Here it goes, friends:

Part III of My Journey to Him

Yet... still... I knew nothing of God's Word. So even though I had this love for Jesus, this REAL Love for Jesus, I embarked on a sixteen year journey practicing New Age teachings, deeply embedding myself into what i would now refer to as a New Age cult. I look back and recognize that the picture I developed of the Jesus of the Bible had become so distorted that I simply was in disbelief that the Jesus who visited me in my bedroom that night could be the same Jesus of the Bible my brothers used to preach at us about for hours on end. It never occurred to me that their view of Jesus and their interpretation of the Bible was what was distorted and neither of the former.


So for sixteen years, I chased after an image of a false Jesus through the writings of namely Torkom Saraydarian. All was not loss, however, because it was there I met my husband, Randy. It was there that the two of us decided to adopt Sonya. And it was there where the memory of the One Who Saved me began to slowly yet methodically resurrect Himself in my life, mind and heart - the Jesus of the Holy Bible - the Living Word.


Then just over five years ago, I was driving home after teaching a class out of town. I was listening to a Christian music station as had become customary for me to do being that it was the only station with clean lyrics without news and suitable for Sonya's little ears.  On my mind that night was the concept of karma and past lives. I was thinking about how daily I was creating more negative karma for myself, whether it was with an unkind thought, negative emotion or behavior of some sort. I reflected on the scripture when Jesus tells us to “be perfect as my Father in heaven is perfect.” In the New Age teaching, this verse is interpreted at face value – a person needs to be completely perfect to leave this earth for good. At this point I grew perplexed and somewhat bewildered at the predicament in which I found myself. How in the world was I ever going to work off all the karma from this lifetime and every other lifetime since I’ve been on this earth, especially since I didn’t have a clue about what I had done in past lives?!!



I literally wept as I drove down the highway, crying out to God, “How long am I going to have to come back to this god-forsaken planet before I can come home to you?!” God’s reply to me, “Reincarnation is a lie. You only get one life.”



I think it is worth mentioning that at this time, Sonya was three years of age, and I just could not bring myself to ever want to teach Sonya about reincarnation. The idea literally repulsed me. Now I knew why.



Less than two weeks later, August of 2006, Randy and I walked away from that cult and never looked back. It was our love for Sonya which drove our decision to leave right away, and I can see now how God’s Plan for us to adopt Sonya was His way of leading us out of there. But…in order for Him to get our full attention, we first needed to leave.



Once we left the New Age, however, a vacuum had been created in our lives and not sure what to replace it with, we replaced it with not much of anything. Initially we did attend a church, more so to fulfill a need in us to give Sonya some sense of community more than anything else. But quite frankly, both Randy and I still had a bad taste in our mouth regarding the Bible and our notion of its contents. I still called people who really “got into” the bible “bible thumpers”.



At a Crossroads



It was in November of 2009 when I experienced a shattering realization about how far “good” people can stray from God’s will without ever knowing it. My husband Randy and I had made a decision concerning our financial future that we thought was God’s good and perfect will for our little family. When we discovered that not only was our decision not God’s will for us but because of our faulty judgment we were standing completely outside of His will, I wept bitter tears. Never in my life had I experienced such sorrow of spirit. I felt complete humiliation, and a deep despair welled up within my very bones. I thought I had it “all figured out”, but it turns out I didn’t know a thing.

I can see now how God used that experience to draw me closer to Him because it was in the experiencing of humiliation that I was humbled. For probably only the third time in my entire life, I fell down on my knees and repented of my every sin against the Father. I called out to the Lord to save me. It is then while I lay weeping and sobbing with my faced pressed up against the floor that the Lord spoke to me and said, “Learn my Word so that this may never happen to you again.” Amen!

It is then that I finally yielded myself to God completely and began the journey of understanding His Truth from His own mouth – The Holy Bible. Again I say, AMEN!  It is then that I finally understood that when I walk with the Lord and lean on His Word as the ONLY Truth which guides me I will feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and in doing so avoid the snares of the adversary. In this I can give All Glory, Honor and Praise to God my Father. Amen!



Thus began for me a fervent search to find and attend regularly a church who preached from the Word exclusively. In a three week period, I visited several churches with my then six year old Sonya by my side. At that point, Randy was still feeling like church was not a necessity for him, but as for me I knew where I belonged and felt like time was slipping away. I really did feel such a sense of urgency with this…


Beginning in January of 2010 we began attending Waynedale Baptist as a family. A lot has happened in our family since; together the baptism of Randy, Sonya and me immersed in the baptismal waters July 11, 2010; the renewal of our wedding vows October 2, 2010; the beginning of finding our way to Cassie (once known as Zhong Feng Mei) December 5-13, 2010; traveling to China as a family to bring her home December 9-23, 2011.  And with each and every step, I can see God's guiding Hand.  Each step needed to take place before the one following it, and I know that I know that I know the Lord has lead us down the path He has chosen for our family. “Acknowledge God in all your ways, and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:6



So what have I learned from reading God’s Holy Word and attending a church that preaches and teaches the miracle-working, mountain-moving, awe-inspiring power of Jesus Christ? I have learned that the only thing which assures us of our eternal salvation is Christ alone. As Preacher likes to point out - church membership, tithing, baptism will not save us. Jesus Christ alone through His atoning blood will. This blood by which we become covered the second we repent and ask forgiveness for our sins, turning away from our old life and asking Jesus to be Lord and Savior from now on out. And when can we or when should we be saved? The Bible tells us the time is now. ...behold, now is the accepted time, behold, now is the day of salvation. II Corinthians 6:2. 


Salvation is for all of us because we are all sinners.  “Sinners”, “sin”, two words that used to sound like nails across a chalkboard to my ears- that is until, I realized my belief in karma was way worse because karma is simply sin stretched over a very long period of time with only one way of paying it off and that is through works. But the sin referred to in the bible is something we were born with and something we can never pay off on our own and furthermore it is impossible, due to the human condition, to ever live a sinless life. Only Jesus did that, and He was and is and always will be willing to take our sin from us and wash it clean. That is if we are willing to admit we cannot do it on our own and that we need a Savior and Lord to direct our steps.


As I read back on all that i have written regarding Jesus Christ, I can say for certain that I am a miracle, people, because the change of heart within me is nothing short of miraculous, I tell you!  If, however, I could impress upon my readership just one thing about my journey back to Jesus it would be this – HE IS ALIVE!  Jesus is alive, and we can walk with Him and we can talk with Him, and get this- He even cares about every little detail of our lives.

When I say I go to church; when I say God lead me and my family to church, I am not saying we got all “religious”. I am saying God lead us to a church that preaches from the Word and the Word is LIVING, and the Word is Life-Changing, and the Word is JESUS. I am talking about attending a church that teaches the Truth from the LIVING WORD and the simple truth is this - religion won’t get us to heaven only a personal relationship with Jesus Christ will.  Going to church won't save us, remember? Jesus will save us.  And the reason studying the bible and living out its simple truths will lead us to the Truth about Salvation through Christ Jesus is because the Word is Jesus on paper! 
I've heard that Religion is man reaching up to God and trying to hold on; Yet RELATIONSHIP is God reaching down to us, grabbing ahold and never letting go. Religion, filled with rituals and a necessity for works while a relationship with Jesus involves letting go and letting Him through us perform works of an everlasting kind.



You know, when people would approach me way back when and tell me I was destined for hell unless I believed in their Jesus, and that my beliefs were silly or baseless or whatever, their intentions actually became a stumbling block to me coming to Jesus sooner. Nobody wants to be made to feel like they are on the “losing team”. But then there were others who would show me what the bible says about life and what it says about the world presently, and never did they point an accusing finger. Even though in truth I thought they were WRONG, their demonstrated kindness made a lasting impression. They showed me love and friendship. They were like Jesus to me.

So here’s the thing, if you are reading this now and you have never asked Jesus to come into your heart and life and change you inside and out, now is the time. Even if your life looks pristine and together to your neighbors, friends and colleagues but deep down you know you’re one step away from “losing it” or “falling into” a depression” or “going off” on your spouse again or drinking and drugging yourself into oblivion or chasing after the world while it keeps changing the rules on you or losing sleep at night for fear of tomorrow….then now is the time.

Simply call out to the Lord. Call out to Jesus and ask him to help you now. He will. I know He will. He always does. Tell Him you can’t do it alone and you’re sick of trying. Tell Him you are a sinner (yes, a sinner through and through) and that you want a fresh start and you need His help to do it. Then ask Him to forgive you for all that you have done against Him. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9.

Or...if you are reading this now and you believe your life is just FINE without Him, then do me a favor.  Just imagine for a moment that you are DEAD WRONG.  And call out to Him anyway.  What do you have to lose?  Call out to Jesus, and tell Him you are having trouble believing He is real.  Tell Him the truth.  Tell Him you would like to believe but do not know how or why.  Ask Him to show you the how and the why of it all.  Ask Him to "show up".  If you are sincere, He will.  In one way or another, He will show up for you and give you a chance to confess and repent and ask and accept Him into your life FOR GOOD.  Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come into him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Revelation 3:20 


Now please open up your bible, or go purchase a bible, and read it.  And find a Holy Spirit filled church to attend with your family.  If your spouse won't go with you initially, load your kids up in the car this Sunday morning and go alone.  As our daughter Cassie likes to say often, having been in America and with her forever family for less than four months now, “Wo ai church.” (I love church.)


Go to church.

Study His Word.

Let Jesus in.

Have assurance of eternal salvation.

Change your life. 

God bless you today!  Love, Cheryl

Adoption Overseas - Waiting for Katie Grace: THE WEAN IS ON

This is the little girl I asked you to pray for, little Katie Grace, a friend of Cassie's from the orphanage.  Please continue to pray for a complete healing of this precious child so that she may sing the Lord's Praises all day long for years to come!  Thank you and God bless you!  Adoption Overseas - Waiting for Katie Grace: THE WEAN IS ON

Expecting Something So Big From GOD: Katie Grace Hua Hua!

Little Katie Grace is a friend of Cassie's from the orphanage.  Please pray TODAY for a complete healing of the heart and lungs for this precious, little girl!  And pray for her mother and father who are just beside themselves with worry. 
Expecting Something So Big From GOD: Katie Grace Hua Hua!

Happy Three Month Anniversary Home, Cassie!

On December 23, 2011 we left Hong Kong and arrived home the same day.  Happy three months home, Cassie!  The following pictures were taken throughout the day today.

Cassie learning to work with pastels for the first time in her life!

Good job, Cassie!

 

You too. Sonya!

Cassie and Sonya's cat, Bibi

They started off like this...

And ended up like this!

Bye for now!

The Long and Winding Road - My Journey to Jesus

I write this to you today because I feel lead by the Lord to do so.  I believe He wants me to share of my long and winding road to Him because there are many people out there who will be able to relate to it.  My story is complicated, at least to me.  It is not a cut-and-dry salvation story.  It is not a salvation story where i can name an exact time and date when i met my Savior for the first time and then lived for Him from that point on.  I believe He wants me to share with you because like me, there are many people out there, perhaps some reading this post now, who have suffered or are suffering presently from a distorted image of Jesus Christ, not because of anything He has done to them but because of something that has been done to them by others.  And because of this skewed view of Jesus, they cannot or will not allow Jesus into their minds and hearts....at all.   


This condition is a tragic one, for as Jesus tells us,  "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me." John 14:6 

Deciding whether or not to believe on the name of Jesus is not child's play.  It's serious business, a matter of life and death.  It's a matter of life and death.  Jesus shared with us over two thousand years ago, "Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.  But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven."   Matthew 10:32-33


The Very, Very Beginning of Part II

On January 28th of this year I shared with you the beginning of what most people might refer to as a salvation testimony.  The title of that particular post - "How Was China?" 

How could i have anticipated that in the almost two months that have gone by since, i would struggle to find adequate words to share with you who Jesus is to me, how I came to know Him and why i choose to follow Him now?  Even as i type this, my words ellude me, my mind grasping for an image to hang onto and nail to the paper.  Not because i have nothing to say, but because i have so much to say and do not know where to even begin. "Please Lord, help me to tell Your story inside of me."

I hear many people share that when they came to accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior their lives changed in an instant.  The Bible tells us this will happen.  "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."  II Corinthians 5:17

Accept when I was saved at the young age of thirteen I knew nothing of God's Holy Word so i didn't understand the reason for the change I experienced inside my heart and mind.  I knew only that my life was a disaster and that i had made it so.  I was so sick of myself, my negative attitude and the pain i had perpetually inflicted upon the innocent simply to satisfy my great need to deflect pain off of me and onto others.  Until those others wouldn't take it anymore.  I was then left with the choice to look at myself or not.  I cried out to God.  God, please help me!  Please forgive me!  I can't do this without you.  I am so mean without You!  Please, Jesus, please change who i am.  Take away my anger.  Take away my bitterness.  Take away my hurt.  Take away my grudge against life and please oh please replace it with Your Love.  Change who i am now!  And please help all the people whom I've hurt forgive me.

And i did change.  My heart changed.  My focus changed.  My vision of the future changed.  I began to desire a life filled with holiness and purity.  I had big dreams for my future, about going to college and never smoking, cussing or drinking.  About how i was going to let God bring the right man into my life, about how i was going to stay pure for that man.  

I no longer wanted to gossip, condemn or make fun of people.   I wanted to be good.  I did not want to do bad things anymore.  I did not want bad in my life.  What i wanted above all was to be a "foot soldier" for Christ.  I was raised inside a church who did at least teach me this one thing, and i clung to the image of who i became through it - just to be a simple foot soldier for Christ.  That is all I really wanted.  

The only problem was there was noone in my life, in my circle of influence, who wanted these things for me too.  Instead, i was surrounded by those encouraging me to do just the opposite of what my godly vision showed me.  I was considered an idealist, and this was not a good thing in their eyes.  And i did not know anything personally about the Bible.  I did not know that i could just pick up the Bible, read it and be inspired by God Himself to stay the course inspite of conditions.  So you see, even though I was saved, my soul was saved, I lost my way for a long, long while.  I lost my purity.  I lost my vision.  I lost sight of who I had become through Him in the instant i came to know Him.  Hence, began the downward spiral.  First, very slowly, but by the time I was sixteen i was running so hard and so fast away from me that I soon lost sight of the One Who Saved me.  i also lost sight of the person He made me to be, and I denied myself that hoped-for future.

And before you know it, in order to stay the new and destructive course I had systematically carved out, I felt i had no other choice but to deny Him. 

Fast Forward a Few Years

I was nineteen and in my second year of college. I had enrolled in an Anatomy class, and to my dismay or surprise, we had an actual cadaver to work on in order to learn our muscle groups, bones, ligaments, etc.


At this point in my life, I totally threw the concept of God out the window. I had it all figured out you see. Because my childhood, and hence life, had been so traumatic, I decided there just couldn’t be a God because in order for me to believe in a God, I would have to further believe He actually placed me in the family in which I found myself. No God would ever do such a horrible thing, right? Or if there was a God, and He allowed me to be born in such a family, then He was a cruel God, one I would have to be angry at forever. Due to such erroneous thinking on my part, I found it either nobler or just easier to believe in no God at all - until I witnessed the actual workings of the human body via the cadaver in my Anatomy class that is.


Until.I.saw.with.my.very.own.eyes... the intricacy and complicated mechanism found in the human body, a body in which I realized with glee that Chance had played no part at all. And I stood in AWE!  The human body became proof positive to me that there was a God, and not just any God, but a MIGHTY GOD whose imagination stretched far beyond the scope of human comprehension.


I worked at Pizza Hut at the time, and would go to work every day and update my coworkers about my new discoveries in regards to this human machine and proclaim with gladness that I KNEW there was a GOD and He was MIGHTY and AWESOME and filled with LIFE and CREATION. Just by enrolling in that Anatomy class, a class which I did not need to graduate, my life and perceptions of life changed dramatically and completely. I will tell you, my coworkers at Pizza Hut thought I had flipped my lid. You see, they were used to the cynical me, the flippant and sarcastic me, not the me who got all wound up over something she couldn’t actually prove or see. I was surrounded by naysayers, agnostics, atheists.

Yet even though that Anatomy class changed my life for good for the better, I remained lost and extremely self-destructive because... there was a missing component in my newly formed thought processes involving God, and His name is Jesus. Jesus, whose GOOD NAME and HONOR had been stolen from me due to some pretty warped and twisted meanderings of a couple older brothers (the oldest of which, due to years of sniffing glue, actually thought he was Jesus Christ) allowed by my parents to spew out verbal rampages concerning Jesus and the Bible even on the youngest of us twelve at will without rebuke or reprisal of any kind - and thus setting in slow motion a type of confusion over the name of Jesus that i battled for years.  It became a constant struggle for me to not lose sight of WHO HE REALLY IS.  And for a time, I lost the battle and declared openly to anyone who would listen that He did not exist.


Until that night when I was twenty two years of age…. Having lost everything that mattered to me, I felt utterly alone and absolutely petrified for my future. And I turned to Him. And He showed up. Even after I rejected Him, He showed up. As I sat on my bed in my little efficiency apartment, rocking myself back and forth as I had done countless times previous through the years, weeping bitter and sorrowful tears, I looked over at the mirror hanging over my bureau and saw a picture of Jesus, a picture I had held onto since childhood and one in which I hung up in every place I lived. Ironic, isn’t it?

I called out to Him in human desperation, and He showed up. Rocking me gently in His arms and promising me He would never leave me, I had a renewed HOPE for my future, no longer filled with fear and dread.  As I felt His Loving Presence and Gentle Arms around me, I knew that what i was experiencing in that moment was  REAL.  This supernatural experience filled me with such a deep sense of gratitude that i have Loved Jesus ever since! 

There is more, and I will share it soon.  It is all written and ready to go.  When you visit again, I will share my journey from the moment Jesus came to my side to the present day and what I have learned about His Undying, Unending LOVE for ALL of US!   

Is This Your Son?

I met this young man while visitng Cassie's orphanage back in December.  The orphanage adoption coordinator asked me to get my picture taken with him and let people know here in America just how badly he wants a family of his own. Just recently I asked Cassie if he is a nice boy.  She said he is very nice boy and would even make a good brother to someone.  He "ages out" in June which means in his case, after June 21st, he will no longer be adoptable.  

Below is more information along with a video of "Oliver" showing you his skills with a yo yo while sharing more about himself.  Please, please spread the word to get this boy out of that orphanange!  I have learned that when a child really wants so desperately to be adopted, as in Oliver's case, he/she becomes very teachable in a family to learn a new way of life.   Please, please give him a chance!

Precious 13-yr old boy "Oliver" (DOB 6-21-1998) from Zhongshan SWI is longing for a family! He put his heart into a video with the hope that a family would be moved to adopt him!

Here is the video link http://youtu.be/Ez9GSNR1vpw



A little after about 3:50 in the video, he shares his desire for a family. It will touch you deeply. "Oliver" has repaired cleft lip and palate and ages out June 21st, 2012!



He is on the shared list, however, WACAP has up to $9500 in financial aid available (including a $4200 Promise Child grant for eligible families for this adoption and the possibility of up to $5300 in fee waivers).



The note below is written by the orphanage staff who does the dossiers for children.


"His Birthday is June 21, 1998. He is Cleft Palate after surgery. He had not been suffered any serious injury.



He is outgoing and open. He likes sports, e.g. Basketball, run, badminton, pingpong, soccer, rope, yoyo, etc… He is very good in basketball, badminton and yoyo.



He likes to help young children.



He is studying in Special Needs School which is just outside of the orphanage.



His school result is not so good, though, he is so good in physical achievement and dancing, he attends to school sports game and do performance on festivals events every year.

He is dying for being adopted by family, he is eager for having a warm home which belongs to himself.


When I first talked to him, he dare not look at me, he is so shy with blushed face. Now we are like good friends. Every time we talk, he is very happy. He has many questions to ask me, always ask me whether there is a family to adopt him or when he could go abroad. I tell him that him that I am working hard to find a family for him."



Please consider Oliver and spread the word. I know of some who have gone from scratch to adopting an aging out child in 3 mos.  Donna O is a wonderful resource on how to successfully sprint! See her blog and info under "pages"  at http://youroutstretchedarm.blogspot.com

Expecting Something So Big From GOD: Single Mom Adoption

I met Vicky on my journey to Cassie.  Vicky is a wonderful Christian woman with strong moral values and convictions.  Very soon, Vicky will be traveling to China to adopt two girls whom the LOrd has blessed her with loving from afar.  Because Vicky is single, she is not eligible for adoption grants.  I do not know the reason for this, only that it is true. 

For the adoption of Cassie, adoption grants paid for more than 50% of all our adoption expenses. 

I know the Lord will be faithful to Vicky because He has called her to care for the orphan, not just one but two!  I know that the Lord has a plan for Vicky, and I know it does not include her going into burdensome debt over doing His will.

On Vicky's blog today, she is sharing about a couple other women in the same boat as she is, and she is asking for help on their behalf.  That is just like Vicky.  She looks out and cares for others without thinking of herself.  Well, Vicky is a nurse so what can you expect, right?   So please take the time to visit Vicky's blog and read about her tirals and triumphs along the way to meeting and caring for her children.  And if so lead, please help her financially to pay for two adoptions.  If not, then pray for her and other women like her.  Please.

Expecting Something So Big From GOD: Single Mom Adoption