Just before Thansgiving my daughter Sonya and I found ourselves at the Christian bookstore. As I lingered in the music cds, I repeatedly found Sonya by my side asking me for this toy or that, this book or that, this gadget or that gadget - you get my drift. My answer was always "no". At one point I shared with her that I had always promised myself I wouldn't end up with a child who sought to wear me down in the middle of department stores begging me for things just to have them, with no thought of its value or the consequence to our future, that if we spend all our money now we won't have any for later. With that said, and to my delight, Sonya did not ask for one more thing.
As the time approached to leave, we passed through a section filled with Holy Bibles. Sonya asked if she could look through this large selection of bibles as she had always wanted an Old and New Testament KJV with a ribbon in it. After exhausting the entire selection and coming up bare, we rounded the corner as the sales associate came to meet us. He asked how he could help, and I told him of Sonya's travail. I honestly thought he was going to agree that they carried no such bible, except he didn't. Instead he led us right to a beautiful fuscia colored KJV bible with a beautiful fuscia colored ribbon. Sonya just stood there transfixed, looking up at what this young man was holding in his hands, saying nothing, not even moving a muscle.
As I watched Sonya's gate, I knew the right thing for me to do as a parent was to ask her at that point if she would like for me to purchase that bible for her. As the question left my lips, Sonya stared at me incredulously, and nodded her head slowly "yes". Could she have heard me correctly? Didn't I say to her earlier that I was not going to buy her anything, her eyes said to me. I then shared that wanting a bible was far different than wanting an object, a thing, and that as her mother I would be happy to invest in her future in this way for the Word would be an investment in her eternal salvation, and even if it was the last dime we had I would still buy her that bible.
Since that day, Sonya has been so proud of her Holy Bible. She keeps it in the hard cardboard box it came in, and when she takes it out and opens its pages, she ever so delicately turns them at the corners so as not to wrinkle or tear the fine, thin paper. Sonya has also grown fond of looking up scripture in her bible just to show me she knows how.
Only two days ago, while walking through another bookstore together, Sonya spotted the bible section, and exclaimed, "Oh, mommy, I have to go find Mei Mei a bible!" As I browsed through books nearby, Sonya set about to find her little sister a bible. And she did! She called me over, and showed me two different KJV bibles both with ribbons, one fuscia and green, the other bright purple. Sonya asked if we could buy one that day, and knowing as I do that we have the adoption to pay for first, I told her we would come back some other time and get Mei Mei a bible of her own before we left for China.
As Sonya thought about it, she remarked to me that she would like to be the one to pay for Sissy's bible. It didn't take long for me to agree to her proposal, for I knew in essence what Sonya was saying - that she values the Holy Bible so much she would be willing to use her own money to make sure her little sister would get a new bible just like she did. I promised Sonya that we would in the same week make a trip to the bank and withdraw twenty dollars from her account and proceed directly over to the bookstore so that she could make her purchase.
We haven't made it back there yet, as it has only been two days, but something tells me we will be at that bookstore tomorrow to make good on a promise. I am looking forward to allowing Sonya to do the honor of writing her sister's name inside along with the name of the person who bought it for her.
I marvel at Sonya's growing maturity, even since we honored God's call to adopt Mei. I reminded Randy upon our initial deliberation concerning a little sister for Sonya that if I hadn't become a mother and fulfilled the longing I had held in my heart since early childhood, that I would never be able to fully develop into the person God intended me to be or to do the work of His Hands.
I feel further my plight to become a mother describes Sonya's state and deep longing to become a big sister quite well. Had we never given Sonya this opportunity to step into the shoes of big sister, a part of her would surely remain dormant and undeveloped, incapable of serving God to her utmost and highest. As Sonya's mother, I believe the words I speak are true. Praise you, Father, for this realization in order that we may equip Sonya to walk in Your Ways and fulfill the plans You have designed specifically for her.