We are changing for the better, Sonya, Randy and I. It is the Lord who is changing us. With this kind of change comes a level of heightened vulnerability yet great anticipation.
As I cried the other day I tried to get passed Sonya with my hand over my face so she wouldn't see my tear-streaked face. But she did see as she came to me, wrapping her arms around my neck, and asked why. I shared with her that I did the very same thing when I was waiting for her except that with this adoption, the Lord has asked her father and me to step out in faith like we've never been asked to do before, and that what she is seeing in me are growing pains. I quickly reassured her that everything will be alright, and that God is right on time with everything.
Before we came to Waynedale Baptist Church a year ago, I never knew what was required of me as a professing Christian. The most basic tenet of our faith I have learned is to share Jesus Christ with a lost and dying world. At that point I began to ask God to show me the life he wants me to live, and to show me His will in all matters concerning my Christian walk. By June, He showed my family His will that we join Waynedale Baptist Church. In July, the three of us were baptized together. In October Randy and I walked down the aisle to renew our vows in a Christian church. On that Saturday afternoon of October 2, 2010, as Randy and I stood at the alter, the Lord literally set our feet upon solid ground and covered us from head toe with His sacrificial blood. This Holy Spirit experience would prove life-changing as it needed to precede the plans the Lord placed on our hearts next.
The steps we have followed as a family these past few months in order that we live in the center of the Lord's will needed to occur just as they did and at the appointed hour. Who could have known that all of this was leading up to that Sunday morning in December when the Lord layed on my heart an urgency that Randy and I pray for His will regarding adoption? As I expressed to Preacher and Gayle recently in a letter, I now feel that my family arrived at Waynedale Baptist just in time for Feng Mei's sake.
Preacher often reminds us of our responsibility to pray for one another. He reminds us every Wednesday night at bible study to pray for the names listed in the bulletin of members and their families and friends in need of prayer. This past Wednesday I got up from my seat and located a bulletin. As I sat back down, I noticed listed therein a prayer request for Randy and me and for Feng Mei. All of a sudden, it struck me how desperateIy my family needs prayer right now and how horrible it would feel to me if no one were to pray for us at our greatest hour of need. I realized then that every single person listed in the prayer requests feels exactly like I do, in desperate need of prayer and how important it is that I pray for them too, even for those I do not know or may never know.
For the first time in my entire life, I will even ask for prayers from people I do not know or may never know. For the first time in my life, the Lord is seriously humbling me so that I will ask for help in all matters concerning this adoption. For the first time in my life, I am learning the meaning of obedience to the Lord's will and calling on my life and person. I have said it before, and I will say it again, "There really is no safer place to be than in the center of God's Will".