Monday, October 3, 2011

Last Year At This Time

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct they paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Last fall at this time, Sonya played soccer at Waynedale Baptist Church.  

At one of Sonya's games, September 18th to be exact, a tiny, little girl ran into my arms as i knelt near the ground and visited with her mother.  As i scooped this little one up and held her close to me, my heart registered a distant memory - oh, but to have another little girl to hold in my arms!  Who could have known back then that in that very moment, my life would change forever?  God knew, and He had planned it that way....

Who could have known that on September 19th, 2010, the very next day following Sonya's soccer game, for the very first time in this young girl's life, Zhong Feng Mei's records would be released for adoption?  And who could have known that on September 21st, 2010, only two days following the release of her files that when the Holy Spirit came to me as a great gust of wind, knocking me back on my heels, whispering, You have another daughter, He was speaking of beautiful Feng Mei, a little girl I had no earthly idea even existed?   

Because of my humanity, it didn't take me long to forget the Holy Spirit's words to me on September 21st, even though upon hearing them I immediately picked up the phone and called Randy at work to share the message.  I asked Randy, What do you think it means?  Honestly, we. did. not. have. a clue.

Until October came, and the Holy Spirit drew close to me and whispered very clearly
 the very same message yet with greater force and urgency,
You have another daughter! 

Once again, i immediately called Randy to share the very same message, but this time I had a thought.  Does this have anything to do with that little girl at the soccer game, Lord?  Because you see, I could not get her out of my mind.   Every day, i thought about her and i prayed for her.   I shared with Randy for the very first time some circumstances involving her situation which lead me to feel this precious little girl could very possibly need a family to take her in...

And then what happened? As before, i forgot all about it...Until

November rolled around, and one last time the Holy Spirit visited me while at work and whispered yet again passionately and forcefully, You have another daughter!

This time when I called Randy i asked him if we were to find out this little girl needed a home, would he be willing to give her one.  And without much thought he answered, "Yes".  Friends, this is why I love him so!

The following weekend, without revealing too much, let me just tell you I found out the parents of this little one were looking for help with their children, and I called them... I did not get them on the line that night, but i left a message asking them to call me.   I never heard back from them, and it felt wrong in my spirit for me to pursue it.  I was more than a little perplexed to say the least.  I did not understand.  Why, God, can I not get her out of my mind if I'm not supposed to help her?!

Until the following month, on December 6th, 2010, when I looked at the BEAUTIFUL, DELIGHTFUL, JOYFUL face of Feng Mei for the first time ever, and finally - knew that I knew that I knew - this is my daughter! 

And now for the very first time ever it all makes sense to me.   When the Holy Spirit visited me three times at the close of last year, approximately 30 days between each visit,  He was interceeding for Feng Mei, whom I have only recently discovered was never ever available for adoption until her file was released on September 19th, 2010, the day after i held that sweet little girl at the soccer field in my arms and recalled
 a distant longing.

 I do not even know her name, that sweet little girl I held in my arms and instantly fell in love with, but I know that God did not use her only for my family's benefit but for hers as well because even though I never learned her name, I pray for her still.  Friends, would you consider praying for her and her family too?

Incidentally, from the very start I learned that Feng means "wind" in my
daughter's native tongue.  God is in the details.  Please, let us remember that.

Picture taken of Sonya September 24, 2011 at her soccer game
When I was taking this picture of Sonya, I thought back to last year at this time, and marveled at the difference a year can make when we choose to obey the calling of the Lord.  Sonya has a little sister on the way, perhaps someone who will join her on the soccer field someday, but if not that's okay too. 
As the year 2011 draws on, please continue to pray for us.  I hope and pray to have Feng Mei home before Christmas as I know spending another Christmas without her would be quite painful.  To say Randy and I know for certain God's plans for when we will travel would be inaccurate.  We do not know.  We can only hope.  Please hope with us. 
 Please pray with us. 
Most recently, I was having one of those days when I couldn't figure out why it can't just "happen" so we can travel soon, until the Lord reminded me that Feng Mei doesn't belong to me.  She belongs to Him, and that she is on loan to Randy and me so that we can teach her how to trust Him fully, so we must trust in Him fully in the matter of this adoption, otherwise we really have nothing of value to teach her at all. 
A. hard. lesson. to. swallow.
So we are waiting again, For God's Purposeful Timing in the matter of rescuing Feng Mei from a life where she knows not love personally and up close.
Yet...we do love her so, and we are prepared as a family to embrace her into our world and shepherd her and be like Jesus to her, and some day, we get to share with our little girl how God perfectly orchestrated every. single. detail on her behalf because He loves her,
and she belongs to Him! 
Thank you, Father, for entrusting us with Sonya Yi and Feng Mei, two beautiful daughters to love and to raise up to know You and to teach how to follow You in perfect obedience even when the steps in front of us are unknown.  It is there when we are powerless and helpless that You. will. be. GLORIFIED!  Amen!


  1. Cheryl, I'm praying that you get your TA. I can't wait to follow your journey!

  2. Praying as well that it will be soon! Even now after Haleigh has been home for a year and a half, there are STILL days that I wish she had come home sooner. I wish I had all those years we missed! BUT I know that it was God's perfect timing and while I may never know or understand the reasons for the wait, I KNOW it was for God's purpose because His timing is perfect. Praying that Cassie is home for Christmas this year! I so understand because we celebrated five Christmas seasons while waiting. So so hard! Thanks for the reminder today; these little ones belong to HIM!