Two weeks ago, we asked our church to pray for a favorable outcome regarding the adoption grants we have applied to so far. That was a Sunday night. The following week I visited the Show Hope website and found out they were deliberating on which families to award a grant that same week. Following their decision they would notify each family by mail the following week. Are you following me so far?
So...last week, I checked our mailbox everyday awaiting the news. Everyday during the week, nothing. Saturday came, still nothing. It turned out to be a rough week for me because of my unmet expectations. I had this idea in my head about how things should go, and when they didn't go that way (and because there is so much on the line when it comes to my daughter living across the world in an orphanage without any knowledge that we even exist) by Sunday I was forlorn and disparaged.
Hence, by Monday morning as a heavy depression laid across my shoulders, stifling any reality of hope or joy in me, I uttered these words to my Lord, "Father, please, I need to see physical evidence TODAY that You are walking with us through this adoption process. Father, please, I feel like I've been walking in blind faith for a while now, and I can't do it anymore. Father, please, show me that You are listening to me. After this prayer, I opened my bible and read these words, "Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Philippians 4:6
About an hour later as I approached our mailbox, I was hopeful for some news. I slowly opened our mailbox and peered in. I hesitatingly reached in and grabbed the stack of envelopes awaiting me. As I stood in the street in front of my house flipping through our mail, I came across what I had been waiting for, a letter from Show Hope. I didn't even wait until I got in the house. I opened it immediately, knowing all the while the words penned could start with "We regretfully inform you..."
But that's not at all what was written. Instead, what I read began with, "On behalf of Show Hope and the donors who make our grants possible, we rejoice with your family as you step out in faith to experience the miracle of adoption. Thank you for allowing us to be a small part of your adoption process. We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded an adoption assistance grant in the amount of $5,000."
I started to tremble and cry and praising the Lord. I ran into the house, and told Sonya that we had been given a grant to help bring her little sister home as I reached for my cell phone to call Randy. When I got him on the line I asked if he was sitting down. (Ever since our journey to Mei Mei began, whenever I preface a phone conversation with, "Are you sitting down" Randy knows I have some good news.) As I shared with him the details, I saw Sonya in the background doing a "happy dance" and I remembered just the night before, while we were sitting in church, Sonya drew a picture illustrating perfectly what we're faced with in the adoption of her baby sister.
In her drawing, Sonya showed the orphanage with sissy standing out in front of it with a big frown covering her little face and me standing on the opposite side of the orphanage with my arms outstretched toward the other side of the world asking for money to get my daughter out of there.
On the opposite side of the page, Sonya drew a bag of money and then she drew an arrow pointing from her sister to the bag of money. Then below the money she drew another picture of her sister, this time with a big smile on her face, with an arrow pointing from the money to Mei Mei.
I think Sonya gets the idea very well. We are going to need a lot of money to get her sister out of there. Friends, it really does come down to money, and with this generous gift from Show Hope, we as a family have been given a renewed hope that not only is what we're needing to do for sissy doable, the money we need is accessible - but only through Christ Jesus.
I shared with some friends yesterday that I realized that God needed us to get to that point again where we were totally turning to Him and asking for His blessings on this situation before He could bless us again. And He always knew that at the eleventh hour just before help would arrive that I would call out to Him and lean on Him even though I had nothing to offer.
In my life, I have felt that God would only help me if I was worthy of His help. I felt that I would have to do something or prove to Him something before He would give me anything. But yesterday, I went to Him in my brokenness and asked for His help feeling in my despondency that I had nothing to offer Him in return. As His daughter, I went to Him, and He listened. Again.
I ask all of you now, please pray for my family that we receive the other grants we have applied to. It's not right that families who have been called to adopt should have to worry about money to free the orphans; however, seeing the wrong in this, the injustice in this, does not change the situation one iota.
The truth is, for Randy and me as Mei Mei's parents, we need a lot of money to get her out of there. We need a lot of money to get her out of there, and we know God has a plan. Thank you, Father, for the plans for your children!
Please, if there is anything you can glean from this blog, I hope it is a heart to go out and tell everyone you know that if they themselves do not yet have a heart for adoption that they need to get educated and start feeling for the orphan, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. As a church, we have neglected the needs of these orphans for far too long, and our apathy and ignorance must cease. Please help us to dispel the myths and wrong-thinking surrounding why families adopt internationally. Please help us to free an orphan. This orphan child who is called to be our little girl.